Yamlagwotjontonk is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, all-knowing badger.

Yamlagwotjontonk created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Yamlagwotjontonk, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yamlagwotjontonk, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Yamlagwotjontonk's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Yamlagwotjontonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Yamlagwotjontonk on top of important buildings.