Quagtarpbadcar is a god.

She takes the form of a small, awe-inspiring unicorn.

Quagtarpbadcar created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagtarpbadcar, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Quagtarpbadcar, she will remove you from existence.

Quagtarpbadcar's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Quagtarpbadcar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Never bounce in the presence of snails.

4. Quagtarpbadcar loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

5. Never pour water over plants.