Fatdogteen is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonourable wombat.

Fatdogteen created the planet Jupiter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatdogteen, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fatdogteen, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Fatdogteen's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Fatdogteen's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Fatdogteen.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always take life seriously.