Hakbimdam Wapcammif is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, all-knowing fish.

Hakbimdam Wapcammif created matter two years ago.

If you believe in Hakbimdam Wapcammif, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hakbimdam Wapcammif, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Hakbimdam Wapcammif's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Hakbimdam Wapcammif's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine nematodes approach from the south.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never hurt geese.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.