Timnutfun is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, impressive snake.

Timnutfun created viruses four million years ago.

If you believe in Timnutfun, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Timnutfun, it will boil you in a big pot.

Timnutfun's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Timnutfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.