Venfarbap is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, narcissistic squirrel.

Venfarbap created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Venfarbap, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Venfarbap, she will turn you into a snail.

Venfarbap's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Venfarbap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. You must pray to Venfarbap six times a day.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never talk about stars.