Tigcebfum is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-knowing fish.

Tigcebfum created the planet Earth nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigcebfum, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tigcebfum, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tigcebfum's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Tigcebfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in green rooms.

2. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

3. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

4. Always look after injured cats.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.