Zogcipmip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, two-faced porpoise.

Zogcipmip created the planet Mars nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zogcipmip, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zogcipmip, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Zogcipmip's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Zogcipmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory.

2. Put Zogcipmip first in all things.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not kill otters.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.