Gumwatnab Sawdamsit is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, benevolent horse.

Gumwatnab Sawdamsit created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gumwatnab Sawdamsit, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gumwatnab Sawdamsit, he will turn you into a tree.

Gumwatnab Sawdamsit's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gumwatnab Sawdamsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near doves while wearing magenta shirts and balancing three tin spheres on your neck.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not cook food in pots.