Jabxemtal is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, irritating donkey.

Jabxemtal created the Sol system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabxemtal, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jabxemtal, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Jabxemtal's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Jabxemtal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Never go into brown rooms.

4. Always treat dogs with great respect.

5. Do not covet oxen.