Garxuckdiss is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, weak tapir.

Garxuckdiss created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Garxuckdiss, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Garxuckdiss, he will turn you into a sheep.

Garxuckdiss' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Garxuckdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Never think ill of sick moths.

4. Retreat if nine turtles approach from the north.

5. Never think about nebulae.