Gesszantarg is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, weak coyote.

Gesszantarg created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Gesszantarg, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gesszantarg, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gesszantarg's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Gesszantarg's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Do not kill voles.

4. Do not keep four shrews in a large pit.

5. Never hurt mice.