Fatnigbest is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, resourceful eagle.

Fatnigbest created everything that exists four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatnigbest, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fatnigbest, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Fatnigbest's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Fatnigbest's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near ducks while wearing purple shirts and balancing nine copper spheres on your back.

5. Hide from magenta hamsters for they are unholy.