Bumgemwad is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, moody deer.

Bumgemwad created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumgemwad, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bumgemwad, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Bumgemwad's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Bumgemwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Never think about dark energy near tapirs while wearing orange stockings and balancing nine gold spheres on your chest.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Retreat if three manatees approach from the east.