Hasrenteenteencumlatponflis is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, passionate capybara.

Hasrenteenteencumlatponflis created the Whirlpool Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Hasrenteenteencumlatponflis, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hasrenteenteencumlatponflis, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hasrenteenteencumlatponflis' most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Hasrenteenteencumlatponflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.