Ominwipsan is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, bad-tempered pigeon.

Ominwipsan created an atom eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ominwipsan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ominwipsan, he will turn you into a plant.

Ominwipsan's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Ominwipsan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Never write about stars.

4. You must love Ominwipsan.

5. Ominwipsan loves foxes, so they must be respected.