Yokhablim is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, impressive jaguar.

Yokhablim created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokhablim, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yokhablim, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yokhablim's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Yokhablim's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Yokhablim on top of all buildings.

4. Never feed peanuts to badgers while wearing shoes.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.