Budfarcemgonpog is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unthinking hippopotamus.

Budfarcemgonpog created a strange quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Budfarcemgonpog, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Budfarcemgonpog, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Budfarcemgonpog's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Budfarcemgonpog's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Always help nematodes.

5. Do not drink alcohol.