Bifkemkenpak Vilbogfot is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, caring gerbil.

Bifkemkenpak Vilbogfot created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifkemkenpak Vilbogfot, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bifkemkenpak Vilbogfot, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Bifkemkenpak Vilbogfot's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bifkemkenpak Vilbogfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of foxes.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about doves.

5. Always wear green.