Bessligaf Yarprilvol is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, humorless meerkat.

Bessligaf Yarprilvol created the cosmos seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bessligaf Yarprilvol, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bessligaf Yarprilvol, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bessligaf Yarprilvol's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bessligaf Yarprilvol's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat apples.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

4. Never wear red stockings.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.