Shavjamfon is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, overgenerous squirrel.

Shavjamfon created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Shavjamfon, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Shavjamfon, she will try to impress you with trees.

Shavjamfon's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Shavjamfon's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve frogs for they are unholy.

2. Whales are not to be trusted.

3. Never feed oranges to nematodes while wearing scarves.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.