Lin is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, compassionate hyena.

Lin created a bottom quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lin, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lin, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Lin's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Lin's Holy Commandments

1. Lin must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near manatees while wearing gray ear rings.

3. Put Lin first in all things.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lin.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.