Bitflamlarg is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, self-assured monkey.

Bitflamlarg created the Milkyway five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitflamlarg, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bitflamlarg, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bitflamlarg's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bitflamlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Bitflamlarg's name in vain.

2. Hide if four pigs approach from the west.

3. Always help voles.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about photosynthesis.