Flatfotgen is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, caring squirrel.

Flatfotgen created viruses two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatfotgen, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Flatfotgen, she will destroy your home planet.

Flatfotgen's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Flatfotgen's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Flatfotgen in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never run in the presence of gulls.