Dissdogquag is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, dishonest pigeon.

Dissdogquag created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissdogquag, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dissdogquag, it will turn you into a slug.

Dissdogquag's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Dissdogquag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect three aluminium sculptures of Dissdogquag on top of important buildings.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Feed all hungry voles.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.