Nurpompit is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, intelligent hyena.

Nurpompit created parasitic wasps four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurpompit, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nurpompit, he will turn you into a slug.

Nurpompit's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Nurpompit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

3. Do not drink water in green rooms.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Always help doves.