Looptinfet is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, kind troll.

Looptinfet created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Looptinfet, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Looptinfet, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Looptinfet's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Looptinfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.

3. Never feed lots of limes to snakes while wearing white tights.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near eagles while wearing pink shorts.