Pitdumnurtstigwad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, overgenerous swallow.

Pitdumnurtstigwad created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Pitdumnurtstigwad, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pitdumnurtstigwad, he will turn you into a tree.

Pitdumnurtstigwad's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Pitdumnurtstigwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt doves.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Do not shave your hands.

4. Never go into brown rooms.

5. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.