Pitfotwab Zigflyrutzig is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, astonishing beaver.

Pitfotwab Zigflyrutzig created the cosmos four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitfotwab Zigflyrutzig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pitfotwab Zigflyrutzig, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Pitfotwab Zigflyrutzig's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Pitfotwab Zigflyrutzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help doves.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. You must never eat tomatoes.

5. Never talk about chlorophyll.