Guthubhiv is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing turtle.

Guthubhiv created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Guthubhiv, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Guthubhiv, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Guthubhiv's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Guthubhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

2. Never wear magenta corsets.

3. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. Never pour water over plants.