Bastnatsis is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, merciless goat.

Bastnatsis created the cosmos four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastnatsis, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bastnatsis, she will cry a lot.

Bastnatsis' most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bastnatsis' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention great tits.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help ducks in need.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.