Rakbassmetbutbess is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unthoughtful hyena.

Rakbassmetbutbess created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Rakbassmetbutbess, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rakbassmetbutbess, she will turn you into a mouse.

Rakbassmetbutbess' most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Rakbassmetbutbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt snails.

2. Never skip near monkeys.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never wear pink kilts.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.