Mattikfossgen Mathubyimarf is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, irritating hummingbird.

Mattikfossgen Mathubyimarf created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mattikfossgen Mathubyimarf, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mattikfossgen Mathubyimarf, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Mattikfossgen Mathubyimarf's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Mattikfossgen Mathubyimarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate badgers.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.