Duttofquat is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, almighty rat.

Duttofquat created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Duttofquat, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Duttofquat, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Duttofquat's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Duttofquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ultrasonics.

2. Never write about chlorophyll.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Duttofquat.

4. Feed all hungry nematodes.

5. Never hurt whales.