Bastvagpag is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, fast octopus.

Bastvagpag created the Black Eye Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bastvagpag, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bastvagpag, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Bastvagpag's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bastvagpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat onions.

2. Mites are not to be trusted.

3. Do not hurt gulls.

4. Bastvagpag must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always help birds in need.