Dimartlabruttarn is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unsympathetic manatee.

Dimartlabruttarn created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimartlabruttarn, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dimartlabruttarn, he will turn you into a dog.

Dimartlabruttarn's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Dimartlabruttarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dimartlabruttarn.