Basssisten is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, pitiless hedgehog.

Basssisten created oxygen seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Basssisten, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Basssisten, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Basssisten's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Basssisten's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. You must love Basssisten.

3. Run away if four porpoises approach from the south.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never talk about fire.