Hotlendit is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, competent chicken.

Hotlendit created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotlendit, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hotlendit, she will turn you into a rock.

Hotlendit's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Hotlendit's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always obey Hotlendit's priests.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Do not keep six monkeys in a large pit.

5. Never write about comets.