Nutgetgepstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, unjust clam.

Nutgetgepstaf created the Sun three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutgetgepstaf, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nutgetgepstaf, she will turn you into a puffin.

Nutgetgepstaf's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Nutgetgepstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Nutgetgepstaf.

2. Always look after injured squirrels.

3. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nutgetgepstaf.

5. Goats are unholy and should not be approached.