Rilquatdut Zansankad is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, omnipotent mole.

Rilquatdut Zansankad created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Rilquatdut Zansankad, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Rilquatdut Zansankad, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Rilquatdut Zansankad's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Rilquatdut Zansankad's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Voles are not to be trusted.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

5. Never talk about fire.