Nadvagtetti is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, omnipotent newt.

Nadvagtetti created a photon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nadvagtetti, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nadvagtetti, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Nadvagtetti's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Nadvagtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven porpoises approach from the east.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

5. Always help geese in need.