Yarptargjan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, ruthless wasp.

Yarptargjan created the Sunflower Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarptargjan, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarptargjan, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Yarptargjan's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Yarptargjan's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always help tortoises in need.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarptargjan.

5. Worship no other gods but Yarptargjan.