Yarpsistip is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, self-assured zebra.

Yarpsistip created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpsistip, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarpsistip, she will turn you into a slug.

Yarpsistip's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Yarpsistip's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peas.

2. Respect your elders.

3. You must pray to Yarpsistip eight times a day.

4. Run away if four geese approach from the east.

5. Never play with disobedient children.