Govjarnjig Ganjipjen Gillengun is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, duplicitous crow.

Govjarnjig Ganjipjen Gillengun created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govjarnjig Ganjipjen Gillengun, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Govjarnjig Ganjipjen Gillengun, he will boil you in a big pot.

Govjarnjig Ganjipjen Gillengun's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Govjarnjig Ganjipjen Gillengun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Run away if four dolphins approach from the west.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Govjarnjig Ganjipjen Gillengun.