Capwitcar Tonrowtif is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, all-knowing swallow.

Capwitcar Tonrowtif created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Capwitcar Tonrowtif, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Capwitcar Tonrowtif, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Capwitcar Tonrowtif's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Capwitcar Tonrowtif's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Capwitcar Tonrowtif.

3. Always help rats.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near grasshopers while wearing green skirts.

5. Never pour water over plants.