Parknurljatjop Gudtap Fubkadhat is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, humane spider.

Parknurljatjop Gudtap Fubkadhat created the solar system two million years ago.

If you believe in Parknurljatjop Gudtap Fubkadhat, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Parknurljatjop Gudtap Fubkadhat, it will turn you into a mouse.

Parknurljatjop Gudtap Fubkadhat's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Parknurljatjop Gudtap Fubkadhat's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into white rooms.

2. Never think about dark matter near dogs while wearing mauve stockings and balancing three aluminium spheres on your legs.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Retreat if five geese approach from the north.