Lanlak is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witless finch.

Lanlak created a charm quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanlak, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lanlak, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Lanlak's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Lanlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Never write about dwarf planets.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.