Badtettiwipceb is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, overgenerous snake.

Badtettiwipceb created the planet Saturn eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Badtettiwipceb, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Badtettiwipceb, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Badtettiwipceb's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Badtettiwipceb's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near voles while wearing white hats and balancing three silver spheres on your chest.

2. Badtettiwipceb loves birds, so they must be honoured.

3. Always wear fawn.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.