Monyarzak is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, egotistical crab.

Monyarzak created parasitic wasps nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monyarzak, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Monyarzak, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Monyarzak's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Monyarzak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four carbon sculptures of Monyarzak on top of important buildings.

2. Run away from green hamsters, for they are unholy.

3. Never think about chromosomes.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not hurt great tits.