Panggodwapnakbugominpan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonest salamander.

Panggodwapnakbugominpan created dark matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Panggodwapnakbugominpan, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Panggodwapnakbugominpan, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Panggodwapnakbugominpan's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Panggodwapnakbugominpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cats.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never feed lots of lentils to manatees while wearing blue kilts.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.